WOULDA SHOULDA COULDA
by cinfinngale
Summary: An alternate ending to Mockingjay that's a little...unique. With the help of Johanna, Haymitch, and some well, unexpected guests, Katniss debates between Peeta and Gale. Who will triumph in the end! Please read and review, and I'll read and review yours!


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own rights to any characters, blah blah blah.**

Katniss was spread across her hospital bed after the Star Squad mission, looking up at the ceiling with an entranced expression upon her face. Johanna was watching over her in her sarcastic yet caring Johanna way. Johanna was getting bored.

"Katniss, are you ever going to-"

"PEETA! GALE! PEETA! GALE! HOW WILL I EVER DECIDE?" Katniss exclaimed, flinging her hands in a dramatic motion.

Before Johanna could answer with some smart remark, Haymitch fumbled in.

"Hey Katniss," he muttered, "when you were being dramatically indecisive, I ate your lunch."

"Haymitch! You're interrupting my rant!" Katniss snapped before getting back into character.

"Boy troubles, sweetheart?" Haymitch snickered.

"She can't decide between Peeta and her cousin, who's not her cousin, who is gorgeous," Johanna filled him in.

"Okay, okay," Katniss calmed herself breathing deeply, "what are some pros about choosing Peeta?"

"Gale's all mine," Johanna said matter-of-factly. Katniss eyed her.

"I don't care if you're burnt up, I'll steal your man!" Johanna stated, "Gotta love that soldier boy." Haymitch was suppressing the urge to smile.

"Anyway," Katniss started, "Peeta is so cute and would never leave me."

"He wanted to be killed," Haymitch retorted.

"So he would let me move on and live a happy life!" Katniss remarked defensively.

"Yeah, ya gotta love that kid," Haymitch remarked.

"And how about the fact he gave you that bread when you were little?" Johanna prompted.

"Aww, what a sweetie! You have to wuv Peeta!" Katniss smiled.

"Yeah, and I'm a sucker for blondes," Haymitch chuckled.

"Okay, so what are some cons against Peeta?" Katniss inquired.

"He did always need rescuing," Haymitch remarked.

"I KNOW! I had to fix his leg, he had to be resuscitated, we had to save him from the Capitol, and he's burnt now too!" Katniss exclaimed.

"But it's not his fault he was always the 'damsel in distress'!" Johanna snickered.

"And then there's the little fact that he may still be suppressing the urge to kill you," Haymitch added.

"Oh yeah, that bites…" Katniss remarked.

"And his name is Peeta. Like pita bread!" Johanna added.

"I KNOW! I just realized that at the end of the second book," Katniss admitted.

"It's so obvious! I knew it right off the bat!" Johanna smirked. "Man, you're slow."

"Ugh, you're right…" Katniss conceded, "…let's move onto Gale. Pros?"

"He's pretty sexy. And distracting…" Johanna began.

POOF! All of the sudden, it's Finnick Odair! In his underwear! (Teehee, that rhymes)

"Do you find me," he said silkily, striking a provocative pose, "distracting?"

"Finnick?" Katniss queried. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Yeah," Finnick agreed, "but Johanna brought up my quote, and it's my best scene in the series! I had to relive it!"

"Yeah, it was your best scene in the series," everyone agreed with him.

"And wasn't my ending so dumb? White lizard mutts? I mean come on!" Finnick lamented.

"Agreed," everyone nodded.

"Hey, since I'm randomly alive again, can you help lead me to Annie?" Finnick inquired.

"If you want to stick around, I'm about to decide between Peeta and Gale," Katniss offered.

"Oh! Of course I will!" Finnick accepted.

"Okay, back to pros about Gale," Katniss prompted.

"You two are such a damn good team," Johanna pointed out.

"And you've been best friends for awhile now. You understand each other," Haymitch remarked.

"But then again, he is kind of player…" Katniss thought aloud.

"And it might've been his bomb that killed your sister," Haymitch stated.

"Yeah, that does kind of put a damper on things…." Katniss agreed.

All of the sudden, Gale stepped in.

"Can I have a minute?"

POOF! Two girls in t-shirts arrive.

"Gale we love you you're the best!"

"No, Peeta's the best!" WHACK! The Team Peeta girl smacked her rival with the shovel.

"Man, that's gotta hurt!" Haymitch remarked.

"Katniss, I-" Gale tried again.

"Gale, I'm sorry," Katniss began, "but I think we just have a bad romance."

"RAH RAH RAH –AH-AH! ROMA, ROMA-MA! GAGA OOH LA LA! ONE SURE BAD ROMANCE!"

Everyone watched in awe as the modern-day pop sensation flooded the room with sparkles from her costume. A man in all black was following her, picking up fallen feathers from her fantastical outfit.

"I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I WANT YOUR REVENGE, YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A BAD ROMANCE! I WANT YOUR LOVE AND ALL YOUR LOVERS' REVENGE-"

"Hey!" Gale interrupted defensively. "It was just a couple of girls on the slag heap, not lovers!"

"-YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A BAD ROMANCE!"

"I think this song describes you two perfectly," Johanna sneered.

"O-M-G!" Katniss squealed. She had recognized the man in black.

"CIIIIINNNNNNNNAAAAAA!" she screamed with glee. The two long-lost partners in crime embraced one another warmly.

"Katniss Everdeen!" Cinna cried.

"Oh Cinna, I just assumed you were dead!" Katniss revealed, sobbing tears of joy.

"Oh no," Cinna explained, "they just had to send me back in time because Lady Gaga's current stylist was just aufful! He had her wear lace. Lace! Unacceptable. I totally transformed her into the icon of avant-garde she is today!"

"Congratulations! That's great!" Katniss said excitedly.

One of the T-shirt girls swapped their shirt.

"Team Cinna!" she squealed.

"Whose side are you on?" Haymitch asked in an irked tone.

"The side of the person that's winning!" she retorted matter-of-factly.

"Smart girl," Johanna conceded.

Suddenly, the other girl wore a 'Team Katniss' shirt.

"You know Gale, if you like that," she stated, pointing to Katniss, "you shoulda put a ring on it." You guessed it:

"ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!"

"All the single ladies!"

"ALL SINGLE LADIES!"

"All the single ladies!"

"CUZ IF YA LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT! IF YA LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT! DON'T BE MAD ONCE YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT! IF YA LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT!"

Everyone, in that crowded hospital room, including Beyonce herself, was dancing that classic 'Single Ladies' dance to Gale. And yes, it was entertaining to watch Finnick perform the dance in his underwear.

"OH! OH! OH!"

Once the song had ended, Gale noticed someone else had joined the dance.

"Peeta! What are you doing here?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry," Peeta explained in embarrassment, "I just heard the music and I couldn't resist." He turned to Beyonce. "I love your work, Miss Knowles."

"Aww, thanks sweetie!" Beyonce cooed.

"How do you feel about Lady Gaga?" Cinna challenged.

"I love your work too, Miss Gaga," Peeta said quickly.

"Aww, you're such a cutie!" Lady Gaga said, pinching Peeta's cheeks and cooing to him.

"Um, Miss Gaga," Peeta said timidly as she pinched, "your talons are digging into my skin."

"Oh I'm sorry!" Lady Gaga held back.

Finally Gale got down on one knee.

"Katniss, will you please-"

"Too late," Katniss stopped him, flashing her engagement ring, "I'm Team Cinna now." She looked to her new fiancé.

"Design my wedding dress?" she asked playfully.

"It's done," Cinna smiled.

"The mockingjay dress?"

"Oh yeah." And with that, Cinna unhooked the red wings from Lady Gaga's back, strapped them on himself, and took off, with Katniss hanging on by his waist.

"NOOOO!" Peeta bellowed with agony.

Gale was just staring in shock. Johanna strode over to him.

"Still not afraid of me," she said, nudging Gale's leg with her hip as she passed. "Are you gorgeous?"

**LOLZ! I'm actually Team Gale, but this was so much fun to write! Please review! **


End file.
